Two Women In Heaven

Two women arrive at the Pearly Gates and are comparing notes about how they died.

The first woman: I froze to death.

The second one: Ugh! How awful!

The first one: Yeah, but it really wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I started to get warm and sleepy, and finally I went and drifted off and died a peaceful death. How about you?

The second one: I died of a massive, horribly painful heart attack. I suspected my husband was cheating, and so I went home early to try and catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den reading the paper.

The first one: Yeah? And so what happened?

The second one: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house checking around. I ran up to the attic and looked around, and then I went down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and cupboard, every nook and cranny, and I even checked under all of the beds. And I kept it up until I had looked everywhere, but finally I was so exhausted that I simply keeled over with a heart attack and died.

The first one: Too bad you didn't look in the damn freezer--we'd both still be breathing.